Vipassana Experience
Mindful Meditation Vipassana Meditation Bodhgaya Vipassana Meditation
Technique
Apart from Thaiyoga Massage and theraputic massage, I have been using Vipassana as a way to keep me grounded in the present moment. Working with so many different peoples everyday , I feel lot of negative energy released during the course of giving massage. Vipassana has been one of the most effective tool that lets me stress free and happy for the next coming sessions.
Mindful Meditation Vipassana Meditation Bodhgaya Vipassana Meditation Technique
Apart from Thaiyoga Massage and theraputic massage, I have been using Vipassana as a way to keep me grounded in the present moment. Working with so many different peoples everyday , I feel lot of negative energy released during the course of giving massage. Vipassana has been one of the most effective tool that lets me stress free and happy for the next coming sessions.
In my
earlier posts I have discussed about many rituals, Yoga, Pranayams and Mudras those
can have significant impact on evolution of our consciousness. If I did not
explained about Vipassana, my explanation will never be complete.
My divine
guidance I go the inspiration during my Allahabad, UP trip from one of new
friend on the banks of Ganges at Sangam. He told me, about his miraculous
healing after his visit to Vipassana. During conversation my friend kept
emphasizing, how could Vipassana is the best practice of its kind and its
effects till deeper levels of our existence.
Being the
most logical person I kept emphasizing my never ever experience of KRIYA YOGA
and how I felt it’s the best thing ever experienced. I saw numerous people following one of KRIYA
YOGA lineage that had helped people to heal from long term illness. I saw it
was more due to specific type of pranayam conducted daily every morning and
evening under the ashram. But followers were mad about Guruji, Did I mention
most of them were followers. I think 80% were from Canada and few were Europeans.
The most
troublesome period of my life and extreme stressful environment at home, I
wanted an escape. I thought of Vipassana and was amazed to find it mere few
kilometers from my home at Bodhgaya, Bihar.
My First
Vipassana Experience at Dhamma Bodhi- Bodhgaya, Bihar
I started
my 10 day program on 16th Jan 2014. I still remember the happiness, calmness,
hearing that primeval frequency all around day in my ears (AUM). The way I changed after that day, I still feel, Vipassana
as the most noble and intelligent decision by me.
Rules were
clear, we were not supposed to talk, or use sign language, and eyes gaze
following our footsteps. Wake up at 4AM, start early morning session between
4:30AM-6:30AM. Morning session again
between 8:30AM-11:30AM. Afternoon session from 1:30PM-5:30AM. Evening session from
6:30PM-8:30PM.
Dhamma Giri- Vipassana Meditation Center |
Vipassana - Anapana
Just
watching your breadth, feeling its sensations could be so powerful way to
change your consciousness, I never ever had thought of it before. It’s simply
amazing. I started feeling tingling sensations all over my face, felt like
something fluttering inide my cheeks, facial muscles. We kept progressively narrowing
my area of focus and kept feeling stronger sensations. From second day I felt
life pressure in my head and my ears seemed heavy. The same kind of feeling you
have when you go under sea water. Beyond all these, my sensations between my
eyebrows just got so intense that I felt something piercing at the place of third
eye.
From 4th
day we started our Vipassana,
•
The regular observation of our body feelings on level of our
awareness. From head to toe and later from Head to Toe and back to Head.
•
I felt some heavy load has been lifted from my shoulders. I kept
feeling lighter and lighter. I was feeling calmer and happier.
•
On my awareness level, I had experiences of very rigid-sthool
sensations. I had tremendous pain that came from nowhere.
•
I could barely sit for 20 min. I had sudden eruption of long time
diseases. My gastrointestinal problems that never let me breath freely from 5th
day onwards.
•
Till 8th day I felt like this Vipassana trip is like nightmare. I felt
so much anguish, restlessness for no other reason whenever I tried to do
Vipassana. I had many thoughts those wanted me to jump over the boundary walls
and run away.
•
I spoke to my teacher and he said "Let
it all pass away" Annica- Duukkha-
Samudayaa
•
While sleeping on 7th day in the night, I had intense fear and feeling
of restlessness. I did not know why was I feeling so much fear. I felt like, my
Japanese room mate is making scary faces and he want to kill me. I even
pictured him dancing like tribals and I covered my face with blanket but no
gain. I was awake till 2AM.
•
The same night after 2:30AM I felt tingling sensations from my feet
rushing towards my back and head, filling it with the most pleasurable and
happiest feelings. I just can’t put in words , how I felt, but followed by some
weird dreams, I was in waves of feeling good , pleasurable waves of sensation
running from my toes to head.
•
I was so awake all this time but never wanted to come out of such experience.
Finally at 3:30AM I open my eyes and sat on my bed. On the same day during
discourses Mr S.N Goenka explained, what actually I had experienced.
•
With Vipassana, the thick wall that separated out conscious and subconscious
mind melts away. What we have inside deeper parts of our mind keeps coming up.
Since I was too much in Yoga, Pranayam, I believe my subconscious mind just
presented the kundalini awakening symptoms that was held in deepest parts of my
mind. Beyond that, due to repression in childhood I had deep seated fear. That
still keeps coming up even during my third visit to Vipassana.
•
Till 9th day I was completely normal with the most relaxed, peaceful,
happiest feeling inside. But still I was only experiencing pains during my Vipassana
sessions, the final 10th day, it was at 9:30AM I closed my eyes in Dhamma Hall
and I felt something was happening inside so fast. My pains have gone by; I was
experiencing waves of flow all over my body. I had no pain anywhere. It was
like I had a different body all together in after 10 min. I didn’t remember how
time went by; when I opened my eyes it was 11AM. I looked at the watch and I
could not believe. 90 mines in one session with no pain but flow of amazing
sensations.
•
WELCOME, I just had experienced ANNiCA. Nothing is permanent. Even
painful sensations also go away. The law of change was revealed. It was huge
for me, because without this experience I would had only felt that my body is
filled with pain and pain and past karma of diseases. Now I knew the truth that
everything changes, being my first time at Vipassana, it just took bit longer
for me. Second time it was way earlier just at 3rd day I had flow of feelings
with pleasurable vibrations.
•
On 10th day while I was hearing this ringing in my ears with AUM
vibrations. It felt this vibration sound is in background of everything. When I
tried to speak to someone or hear anything from others, this vibrational sound
will go in background and will wait till silence resumes. And with silence it
will again become louder in my ears.
•
Same day My Japanese room mate
told me, in the night I was making loud AUM noises and with cough and cold, it
all sounded very scary. Anyways in the night, I saw my Japanese friend doing
the same experience as he explained during day. He abruptly raised his hands
and legs at an angle of 45 deg lying on bed and with HUM sound will release
hands and legs with DHAMM sound hitting on bed. I woke up; saw this melodrama
and funny experience. And just kept smiling. I realized, with Vipassana our consciousness
and subconscious minds become too close to each other with no barriers. As was
inside the mind, the same outside. My Japanese
TAK-SUN-NARI subconscious mind picked my actions as I did last night and was
releasing the same thoughts tonight from TAK-SUN-NARI to his conscious mind and
expressing it with feelings, thoughts and memories. How slaved we are by mix of
our conscious and subconscious mind.
•
Next morning we cleaned our rooms, our cells and after breakfast we
came back home. But the Happiness, The desire to be true to ourselves, that
intense happiness was un-explainable. The anger by my mother or father, or my
past love mate. Nothing mattered. To me it all felt ANNICA- and reason to DUKKHA.
The more we associate to PAIN and
PLEASURE the more we suffer and create DUKKHA
for ourselves. I just could not stop myself after coming from Vipassana, to
call everyone and let them know, how wonderful is this. I called my best
friends by last closely associate lady companion and the love and happiness was
simply incomprehendable. I told them why they should making it part of their
lives.
I will follow my second post on my second trip to
Vipassana- Shravasti and more clear revelations
in next 10 days.
My Second Vipassana Experience- Shravasti- Jetvan Vipassana Meditation Centre
After my
first experience at Dhamma Bodhi,
Bodhgaya in January 2014 I was thrilled what Vipassana has offered to me as an individual and that sense of
independence from compulsive materialistic entanglements that binds us with
everything else in today’s lifestyle. I
sometimes feel liberated and confused about, why should I do the same thing
that I kept doing it in the past. Why do I get into the same rat race for
making money that everyone is trying to follow these days. It’s a great
confusion. With my vast corporate exposure I sometimes feel like to reach at
the top of corporate hierarchy by investing time to study more and more , yet I
didn’t want to be part of ugly politics , leg pulling to sustain at the top of
hierarchy. ITS MY LIFE CONFUSION … NOW!!!!
I felt
depleting effects of my Vipassana due to irregular practices. So I wanted to go
for another trip. I decided I should be doing it this time from Shravasti. The
same place where Jetvan was, the
place where Buddha preached his teachings, the place where old business man
bought this sacred land from the ruling King’s son. The young king didn’t wanted Jetvan to be sold but wanted to keep it
for this leisure and sports. So ,King’s son offered, if business can cover the land of Jetvan by gold then only he is willing
to sell. Finally old business spent all his savings and worthy gold he had and traded
it by covering the land of Jetvan .
This made possible for him to invite Buddha to come to vastly populated city of
Shavasti in older times and offer
teachings of Vipassana to regular householders.
After
finishing my second Vipassana camp I had the change to go to Jetvan and the amount of surge of
energy we had experienced , it was tremendous . We were team of 6 people and
almost everyone felt that sudden tingling surges of energy from toes to top of
head and vice-versa and intense happiness , for the whole time for 90min we
were there. It was a lifetime moment.
I was
staying at GAYA, BIHAR , so I
decided to take a train to Ayodhya
Railway station and use public transport to reach bypass. Then we had
shared transportation and buses till Gonda.
After reaching Gonda bus stand my
next destination was Balrampur. I
remember Balrmpur has India’s prominent
sugar mill. Anyways I knew for this part of world bus is only feasible mode of
transportation. On reaching Balrampur,
I just a short walk and boarded a small maxi shared cab for Shravasti. The time I boarded it was
all empty and in just matter of 12 min it was filled with peoples, Milkmans
containers, Bicycles and 3-4 excess people hanging outside and enjoying airy
ride. I spoke to people and they told Jetvan Mediation Center is right there
on highway. After following few walks I
was inside Vipassana center.
I submitted
all my belongings, got my room and was ready for evening welcome addressing.
Vipassana-
Anapana
My fast 2
days were same following Anapana. My sensations were pretty intense , wherever I
focused my attention. I had shard piercing sensations between by eyebrows and
in couple of days it was so intense that I could not focus my attention
anywhere apart from this strong feling. I spoke to my teacher and he just said, ANNiCA….
I realized may
be in course of focusing on sensations around nostrils or the upper lips I had
been investing too much attention on this sharp feeling. Third day onwards I
was back to the most soothing relaxed and happiest state of mind. Some of
noticeable incidences occurrences were
- · I was getting aware of subtle sensations in legs, hands , veins. I could heart beats everywhere. I was too alive· I had pleasurable flow of sensations occurred from third day onwards and vanished till 4th day evening followed by pains and aggravated health issues related to gastrointestinal issues.· During Vipassana, I was really getting aware about rise and fall of pleasure and pain. I felt these were continuous flow of pain followed by pleasure and so on. Nothing was stable ….ANNICA· Gradually with 5th day I had emergence of a prospective that can go beyond rise and fall of pain and pleasure.· I was my thoughts were looking for something good or wanted to avoid what they didn’t want to experience in life. It was nonstop. And whenever I crave for pleasure I had good waves of sensations of pleasurable . Whenever I resisted any thought I did not want to experience in life, I had waves of painful sensations.· With everyday I was getting this clarity, How my attachment and compulsion is the reason behind my pain , sorrows and cravings for pleasure.. ………. The law of DUKKHA was revealing progressively.· Till 7th day and 8th day this emergence was so clear, I had even managed to slow down this flow.· From 9th day my old time gastritis problem that troubled me below my ribs just disappeared.· I had sudden numbness and feeling of loss of sensations in my left legs , that doctors associate with Blood Pressure and human ailments, was still there but It has changed. I was feeling that urge of energy in my hands and legs in moments of numbness that was not bothering me anymore.· I had even managed to feel tingling and sharp piercing sensations between my eyebrows life something that’s there . But it was not bothering me anymore.· OK…. Now some list of complications…. I had become very sensitive. I used to get headaches that makes me feel so heavy. Specially towards the sides of head. My moments of stress and pressure made me feel intense headaches. I feel it as another level of my evolution on this path of truth……. I mean the path of ultimate truth…….. We are earning to see everything not by our five senses but experience them……… As truly they are on our experiential level.
My last day visit to Jetvan
was amazing. It was just on other side of bypass road from Vipassana Center. A
must place for visitors.
My next short three day tour was next time for Jaipur. I will post that may be sometime later.
My Third Vipassana Experience- Bodhgaya, Bihar
I went to my teacher and asked him, I just cant feel my
hands during Vipassana. He curiously
asked me , How many times I had been in Vipassana.
I told him this is my 3rd time within 10 days retreat. During
further conversation I told him I can’t
feel my limbs. The physical sensations were lost and I was more feeling
energetic vibrations (I felt hollow from inside all over ). “ It’s just the start of dissolution of physical
awareness, slowly everything will dissolve” teacher said.
During 6th day of my 3rd Vipassana I
had experienced something that I knew , someday I will have experiences of such
level. But I never felt that during such Bhangaa experience I was able to see
everything even with closed eyes, so intense , vibrating and alive that you
find your open eyed perceivable world so pail.
The depth of my awareness became stronger than before. But
this time , I felt upsurge of thoughts with entrants of sexual emotions. I
never thought J I
had so much raring to come out. The peace was stationery, stilled and embraced
with non judgmental. My awareness of rise and fall of thoughts on physical
level, mental level became perceivable. I can relate to the logic of Dukkha,
How Body and Mind interaction and my attachment with the outcome of either Good or Bad will create Sorrow . I felt comfortable and grounded with
everything I have. Coming back home, everyone told me I have became quieter
than before ( Even though I had been a man with few words ).
Fear had been a prominent emotions that always keep finding
ways to come out of my deepest parts of lower subconscious . I had couple of
days of fearful experiences , when I went to bed in the night.
In short, It’s a just another level of experiencing a
partial Bhanga, and it will be memorable experience at Bodhgaya, Bihar
Mangal Ho
What happens when you do Vipassana
on heavy dosage of Bhang ( Cannabis)
It was Holi day before yesterday. I followed the noble
ritual by having Bhang ( Cannabis).
After 3 hours the effects kicked off so intense that I just
wanted to sleep and relax. I felt hungry and tired at the same time. I had by
afternoon lunch couple of times J
and I slept.
Slowly as I closed my eyes, but I cannot sleep. I saw vivid
images pictures and that sudden feeling of rise and fall that people do
experience while having cannabis. I had intense focus and felt my strong
awareness in present moment. But I was losing track of my time. I cant relate
my present moment to the last moment. It just popped in my mind, How will it be
to do meditation in this situation!!!
These were my personal experience and I do not imitate anyone to try this
I lied on bed , closed my eyes and started doing scanning
bodily sensations i.e Vipassana, So here it what happened
next:-
·
Just 2 times feeling bodily sensations, I felt dissolution
of whole body. I was vibrating at every cellular level. The vibration of rise and fall or I could say it as
waves of pain ( more like fear) and
pleasure. I was one being centered somewhere that I can’t describe, B ut so
alive feeling everything till it highest potential.
·
I was hyper attentive at same time and was
processing multiple information’s at the same time. I heard my sister and
mother making fun of my Cannabis experience, I could listen to cricket match commentary
at the same time and even feel my dad within proximity. I was feeling the
happiness of my sister and joy she has , more on energetic or feeling level
·
Language felt absurd, I felt language are just
fraction of information we want to convey to others. On experiential emotional
level, every communication was like an ocean. Bottom-line language is just
nonsense, J
its not even close to what exactly people do feel.
·
Space-Time collapsed. It was so absurd for me
coming home this HOLI from Delhi. Specially thinking about going to
metropolitan or going abroad to do something to gain materialistic money. I was
everywhere feeling , what anyone was feeling ( without lost in translation)
·
I asked some questions like:-Why I am here.
Answer was, I am here to learn something. It was more like being complete. I
can choose any kind of life I want but this completeness with come after going
through lessons. In the past also I learned something and this life it is
learning something more towards completeness.
·
I felt there is a music in life. It plays again
and again and again. I saw some new characters appearing again and again presenting
something new with the music that was playing continually again and again. Even
I tried it to stop or hold into it, it will keep offering unique possibilities again and again.
·
I felt Pain and Pleasure like rise and fall
of sinusoidal waves. It’s inevitable and happening every moment within my body
. Being centered in my space the energetic feeling of Pleasure and Fear or Pain
were felt so alive. I thought its good to see how it feels doing Mitta
Bhavna (that we do at the end of Vipassana) . Every time I prayed with
wellbeing and kindness for others , I was radiating love and compassion so
strong that was overshadowing even waves of
Pain and Pleasure. My every cell was radiating the energy.
·
Love- I thought of women I loved in the past and
asked, How does she feels whenever I I radiate love to her. To my surprise J I
felt it was no affecting radiating from her prospective. I was relaxed and felt
how foolish getting involved too much in Male-Female search of love
·
I asked myself for Life-Marriage-End. My answers
were told me it all just does not matters. Life partner let you prosper, money
let you became admirable and wealthy but all these does not matters at the end.
There is something to learn and all we have to learn it to go through to reach
at end.
·
I saw the humanly life based on consumption, day
and night all is happening here. Time is illusion. J I felt my reasons of
illness and why they are here in my body.
·
Death was inevitable end. It was creating a fear on physical level but energetic level I felt just OK. I knew it just a change from one
form to another.
·
Every time moment I knew I have made a choice to
come here in this vibration frequency. It’s my choice to go through everything happening
with me. I can close my eyes anytime to see all vibration frequency possibilities
and endless music, that rise and fall of energy. I just decided to let myself
flow being objective, let it all go through, me just being a spectator.
·
My head
felt so light, specially my third eye place. I felt there was something
connecting me to all this was happening with me. I felt intense energy pouring
or something connecting to my crown.
These were my
personal experience and I do not imitate anyone to try this